Another exciting installment of your favorite weekly bama video blog, brought to you by Well That’s Cool. You’ll notice the shiner on my cheek and you’ll be proud to know that I earned it by getting so wasted saturday night/friday morning that I fell out of a cab and straight into a curb. We practice [...]
Time to get arrested bammers!
Downtown ‘Ham better watch the fuck out! We’re about to run balls deep in this motherfucker. Alabama Man Dance and I are full of piss, vinegar and kool-aid. Bammers, enjoy this one. Not that you needed us to tell you that. Our goal? Two arrest, make bail by noon and do [...]
Be careful, my alabama brothers and sisters, Athens is a wasteland right now, its like a fuckin 2 pac video!
an oil executive thinks the game should be cancelled!
Check this awesome article from the always entertaining Cold Hard Football Facts:
ESPN drunk behind the wheel of the USC bandwagon
So if Alabama wins, it will probably lead to [...]
Man, I tell you what, boys and girls, this has been one tough week for yours truly. I have cast so many damned hexagrams, tossed about three fiddy in change, and divided so many yarrow stalks (actually, I use Q-tips) that I have developed a divinatory version of carpal tunnel syndrome. And like so many [...]
We just watched the latest USC meltdown; which is an annual event here at the Tower. It appears that Sanchez’s crustached-face spent more time in the bye week buried in coed poon than the playbook. Oh, well. But this does give us the chance to engage in our favorite pasttime: looking ahead of our opponents.
After [...]
I interviewed several Tuscaloosa dogs this past week, to see their opinion on the Bama vs Bulldog showdown in Athens this weekend:
Waldo: “Do those Bulldogs like to roll around in shit too???”
Otis: “I hope Corso doesn’t pick us to win!”
Freckles: “I’m very concerned about our linebackers in pass coverage!”
Beau: “The Big 10 is slow LMAO”
Susie: [...]
Who the Fuck is Georgia
Georgia is based in Athens*, where they invented REM and philosophy and hedges. Their state features a giant peach that moons you while you’re on the highway. PS, our good ole Chilton County peaches are better, why don’t they replace that water tower with a big ass Matlock head.
Why We are [...]
I thoroughly embarrass myself again in another week’s installment of The Perfect Storm. Thanks to the dudes at Well That’s Cool for bringing me back down to earth.
“if we drink the Kool-Aid … me being Attila the Hun … was right,” Coach Nick Saban
In his post Arkansas press conference, Alabama Coach Nick Saban references the cruel and vicious Attila the Hun in the same sentence that he mentions a tasty sugary drink often delivered by an overweight anthropomorphic pitcher that busts through [...]
So, Richt is calling for a blackout this saturday. Eh, I could give two shits what uni’s they wear.
We’ll start the competition right now. Please come up with a better headline than the one I just threw up there. I had one in the reserves, in case the game went the other way: Dick is big. No sacks. I also had: Dick disappoints without Nutt, Dick falls short, or Dick pointed and [...]
Nothing like waking up to a cup of orange juice, a few beers, and a large jug of coffee with extra beatdown. Alabama hammered Arkansas 41 - 7 via a defensive back beatdown of legendary proportions. Our exclusive Yi Jing prediction was right on, as Bama scored on the first drive and Arkansas players [...]
My brothers and sisters, I have enlisted one of the wisest bammers, who has successfully predicted several things with his Mystic Ways, including the Mike Price Titty Situation, the Closure of the Booth and the 2008 Tulane Scare. And he has let us into his sanctum to view his game predictions, and given me and [...]
Once again, we are going to look past our current game. Against the wishes of the entire Alabama coaching staff, our families, and against the recommendations of various doctors.
Hellooo Georgia!
Next week, looms a game no one, NO ONE, picked Alabama to win before the season began. Not even your super-bammer 12 year-old-bucktoothed-distant-cousin that shaves “AUBS [...]
Who the Fuck is Arkansas:
The University of Arkansas is a public university in Fayetteville, Arkansas with 19,000 students. Razorback Stadium is where thousands gather and yell “Woo Pig Sooey”, one of the most self-deprecating phrases a bowlful of overweight Southerners can yell. Their mascot, the walking red pig thing, has procreated into a small family [...]
Live from atop Bryant-Denny stadium, I put my ass on the line this week. Enjoy.
Congratulations are in order for Bama Wide Reciever Julio Jones, for being named the SEC’s Voltron of the Week. Julio formaed out of 5 robotic Lions and Escalades to catch 5 passes for 66 yards and a touchdown against Western Kentuckly Hilltoppers while defending the Galaxy on Saturday. Julio was limited in action because his [...]
All across America, our Alabama brothers and sisters crawled out of bed on September 13th wanting 3 things, a cold beer, a big win, and Tommy Tuberville to find a large phallic object made of spoiled meat in his bed. Well, we got two of those things, and almost got the third when a 3 [...]
We haven’t really done much shit-talking about the boogs this season. It’s about time we did. I was skeptical about the Franklin hire and moving to the spread, but I had no idea they would look this inept. A quick run through the boards and blogs this morning had me grinning. It looks like there [...]